Epidural, Day 5

  • Posted on October 12, 2015 at 5:03 pm

It’s now five days since I’ve gotten the epidural. I wish I could say that this has been a miracle for me and I’m pain free; alas, I cannot. However, it has been an improvement so I can’t say that the procedure was in vain. Which is good. I think I would have lost my mind (what’s left of it anyways) if I had gone through all that and not felt any better at all! So yes, it’s better. Not perfect, but better, and I will happily take that. Plus there’s still another week to go where I may/will see additional improvement as the medication continues to do its thing. I have hope back now, that this will continue to improve and I will get better. It was a little rough for the last couple of weeks (sorry, Husband!) when the pain kicked up and my ability to deal with it dropped. When the pain gets like that, particularly after several days, let alone weeks of it, my head begins to get foggy. I have memory holes. Not like long term memory holes (those are a different issue!) but short term, like forgetting to do something or buy something that we had talked about minutes earlier. At the farmers market I left TWO stands having paid and then forgotten to take my food. One I remembered and went right back for, the other totally escaped me until I got home and unpacked. It’s disconcerting- because you don’t know what else you may have forgotten!

It’s breathtakingly beautiful up here in the Green Mountains of Vermont! We’re finally truly able to appreciate the beauty of the change of the season. Last year was nowhere near as colorful as this, plus we were just settling in AND dealing with the insanity at the other house AND I was still commuting weekly. I don’t really remember last October. This year is oh so very different. We feel settled now. in the house and in the area. Jobs, not so much, but we’ll get to that. Now that I’m starting to feel better I may actually be able to look in more earnest than I have been. I may have said this before; it’s hard to look for a job or think about a job when you can’t think about working an 8-hour day doing ANYTHING without fear and wanting to cry. Now that I’m starting to feel better, I may be able to do this. First things to do- 1) figure out what help I still need from other people; 2) figure out what it really is that I want to do! Yeah, that little thing.

So now it’s 5 pm and this is the first time today that the pain had picked up to more than just a dull ache. I’m good with that. Considering by this time a week ago I was already running out of spoons and brain-power, that’s a good thing. To be fair, I’ve done a whole lot today- changed the bed linens, run three loads of laundry, pulled everything out of the truck so we could pick up my new chair, and sorted through and labelled 9 of the giant Tupperware tubs we have still in the basement from the move. My winter project is to go through them all and have a solid idea of what is where, and clear out and donate what we can.  Now I just have to make dinner and then I can collapse. Then we’ll see what tomorrow brings.

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